Images of ourselves

2013年03月19日：每個人都有形象：陳祺勳
by Chen Xichun

我最近持續在讀史蒂芬金的小說，其中最精采的一本很顯然是顫慄遊戲，作家保羅薛頓出了車禍被他的頭號書迷安妮救起，保羅薛頓最成功的系列是一系列時代背景在十九世紀末，女主角叫Misery的小說，這系列非常暢銷，但保羅薛頓在那系列的最後一本裡賜死了Misery，新寫了一本他認為更現代更有文學性的小說。

Lately I've been reading the novels of Stephen King, the most exciting of which is definitely Misery: Writer Paul Sheldon is rescued from a car crash by his "number one fan," Annie; Paul Sheldon's most successful series is set in the late 19th century and has a female protagonist called "Misery;" the series is extremely popular, but in the last volume of the series he kills off Misery so he can begin what he believes will be a more modern novel with higher literary value.

在他還躺在床上養傷時，安妮發現他把讓她最愛的女主角死了，所以瘋狂的燒了他的新作原稿，還逼迫保羅新寫一本書把Misery救活，幾乎是只有兩個人之間的你來我往卻精采萬分（書和電影都非常精采，但結局略微不同，一個是被逼寫的書終究出版大受歡迎，一個是主角成了他想成為的嚴肅作家，可以看見作者和導演不同的角度）。

While he's lying in bed recovering from his injuries, Annie discovers that he has killed her favorite heroine, so she burns the manuscript of his new novel in a psychotic rage, and then forces Paul Sheldon to write a new novel in which Misery is brought back to life. It's more or less just the two of them dickering back and forth, but it's actually quite exciting (the book and the movie are both great, but their story lines are slightly different: In one, the forcibly written novel gets published to great success; in the other, the protagonist achieves his dream of becoming a serious literary author---here you can see the two different perspectives of the author and the director).

我們每個人都有大家眼中的形象，你實際上呈現出來的形象，以及你理想中的自我形象，這三者重疊的部份越大一個人就越自足越快樂，如果大相逕庭，就會造成痛苦與衝突，因為我們從別人的眼中看到的還是自己的倒影。

Each of us has an image that appears in the eyes of others, another that you actually are, and an idealized self-image. The bigger the overlap between these three, the happier and more satisfied with ourselves we are; while a big difference between them creates suffering and conflict, because what we see in the eyes of others is still our own reflection [though reversed, like the image we see of ourselves reflected on still water].

看美國偶像也有類似情節，一個參賽者在十強淘汰賽時忽然做了很有突破的表現，以及大為不同的打扮，評審和觀眾都感到詫異失望，那個原本被熟悉而喜愛的人去了哪裡？他也因此被淘汰無緣決賽。

See, contestants on American Idol have a related problem: When there's a "top ten elimination competition" they suddenly make a big splashy change in their presentation, with a completely different look, and the critics and audience feel acutely let down by this. Where's the familiar person that was we loved so much? The star is thus pushed aside in favor of others, and loses the competition.

任何人都有證明自己不只這樣的慾望，但如果你的工作是與群眾接觸，那麼，如果你沒有誠實的呈現自己最想呈現的樣子，要不是被發現真實的樣子而被說揭穿假面，就是憋到內傷搞出一腦袋憂鬱症。

Everyone longs to prove that they are not only this one particular way, but if your work requires contact with the public, then you must honestly present the form you want most to show. Otherwise, if your true form is discovered, you'll be accused of having hidden behind a mask, so you must stifle yourself to the point of injury and depression.

真正了解自己想做什麼，能做什麼，固然很重要，但更重要的，我想是面對別人的一點點寬容，你自然可以因為某人與你想像中不同而失望，同樣的，任何人也不必為別人心中的想像負責。

Truly understanding what what you want to do, what you can do, is of course very important. But even more important is that we approach others with a tiny bit of compassionate acceptance. It's natural to be disappointed when others don't match your image of them; but, likewise, no one is responsible for the images of them that appear in the minds of others.