Sex service

2013年03月18日：新該服務：陳祺勳
by Chen Qixun

最近有個新聞就是台大出現一個社團，是三個男生自稱從德國引進這個社團，宗旨是為了減輕女性的課業壓力，所以他們自願提供免費性服務，讓大家可以紓壓，還聲稱說無壓力的性愛可以讓課業表現更好，完全以一種做功德的說詞出現在大家的面前就對了。

According to a recent news story, Taiwan University has a new student association: Three guys, claiming that such groups originated in Germany, and in order to reduce, in women, the stress created by academic study, offer to provide sexual service free of charge, thus helping everybody feel more relaxed. They further profess that pressure-free sex can enhance academic performance. The whole thing is presented in terms of selfless volunteer work.

這事雖然沒引起軒然大波，但也引起不少人的注意，尤其這三個人還很聰明的說是從德國引進的這個想法，什麼東西只要是從日本德國引進大家都覺得似乎多重可靠感，在這件事裡面說德國大約等於在論文裡引用外國文獻吧。

While this hasn't created a maelstrom, it certainly has attracted plenty of attention, in particular the three fellows' clever assertion that the idea came from Germany. As long as something comes from Japan or Germany, everybody thinks it must be very reliable. Mentioning Germany in this context is equivalent to citing foreign sources to support an academic paper.

台大校方倒是覺得沒有違法，所以沒有處分之說，也沒有虛假的說要維護什麼校譽，因為開明的學府就該接受各種不同的事件，同時這也並沒有傷害校譽的危險（男學生願意為女同學紓壓很感人啊），但我非常好奇開張至今到底有多少女生去使用這個紓壓服務，（當然假扮成台大女學生的記者不算），依我猜測應該是一個也沒有。

The University doesn't consider it against their rules, so there's nothing they can say, and they haven't made any hypocritical remarks about protecting the school's reputation because a progressive center of learning must accept all sorts of things, and at the same time there's really no danger to the school's reputation (boys offering to help girls relieve stress, how sweet!). But I'm extremely curious as to how many women students have thus far availed themselves of this stress-reduction service (anyone falsely posing as a female NTU student doesn't count, of course). I would guess that there most likely hasn't been even a single one.

不是說我覺得性愛不重要，良好性愛的確可以讓人生更美好（但不會考試考一百分啦），也可能的確有很多人需要性愛來好好的提振一下精神，但找上這三個人我怎麼想都覺得不可能，不是針對他們個人，而是這件事追根究柢實在很愚蠢。

I'm not saying I don't think sex is important; good sex can certainly enhance one's life (though it won't get you an A on a test), and it's entirely likely that lots of people need sex to brighten their spirits, but going to these three guys for it---I just don't think it's going to happen. It's not about them personally, it's just that the whole idea is completely idiotic.

其實就是這三個男的非常想上床但苦無機會，所以不知從哪裡聽來有這種事，因此覺得不妨一試，這就是好萊塢青少年喜劇裡想盡辦法要上床的劇情（美國派用到爛的老梗），古往今來的男人為了上床做過多少事，從改運雙修到威勢脅迫，就可以理解他們三人的企圖，而說什麼是為妳紓壓，只是一個新鮮的切入點罷了。

The truth is that these three males just really, really want to get laid, and they're sorely lacking in opportunities, so they picked up this idea from who-knows-where, and they thought why not give it a try. It's the "trying to get laid" story from Hollywood romantic comedy (worn rotten from overuse in American movies). Men have been trying all sorts of thing to get laid since time began, from tantric religious practice to coercion and intimidation, so we can understand these three men's ploy. But no matter how much they say it's all for the ladies' benefit, it's really just a new angle on an old game and nothing more.